Bitch Session #1
Thou Shall Not Lie

Thou shall not lie

Telling someone they should not lie is useless. Pointing a finger with a commandment from God… also worthless. We all know it’s wrong, but is that enough to stop doing it? Absolutely not. Lying is like an impulse. Almost natural. It’s a survival instinct. You learn it as a kid. It makes things so much smoother. Avoid punishments, reap rewards… once you see how the world works, with a well-placed lie, everything falls in your favor. But the cost is something few see right off the bat. 

Sure, I could use examples of how it destroys people and ruins lives, but that only applies if you get caught. And that is the lesson most people take away from it. 

If I don’t get caught, and everything worked out, all is good.

This illusion is reinforced every time you get away with it. But on a deeper level, the cost nips away at something inside you. Your self-esteem. This is why, by the time people reach their teenage years, they have so many problems trying to figure out who they are and where they fit in.

Every person of high self-worth knows that lying is the antithesis of confidence. Most lies are told because the liar is afraid of how it makes them look. Most of us are familiar with the expression, you can’t lie to yourself, but never conclude that lying to others is the same as lying to yourself.

Telling the truth takes bravery. And with each act of fearlessness, you build upon your confidence. I used to be scared of other people. Specifically, scared of what others thought of me. What they thought about the way I dressed, talked and walked. Scared of what they thought about my opinions. Scared I sounded dumb and most of all, scared I would be ridiculed or ostracized. To ensure my fears did not materialize, I lied whenever it suited me. I spoke and dressed and did the things that were popular. Avoiding the truth, whenever it would contradict that.  

Yet, the more I told the truth about something embarrassing or stupid, the more assurance I gained in being me. It’s not about reaching the point in which you don’t care about what others think about you. That statement is misrepresented in most cases. You do care what others think about you. Everyone does. It is a natural part of humanity as a pack animal. 

But what you want people to take away from you, is that you will not be afraid of being you. You will not be swayed by their opinions. You won’t cave in to their beliefs if it differs from yours. I don’t mean to go as far as not lying in a life or death situation. Again, that is ridiculous. I mean if someone is going to laugh at you because of what you did, you will stand tall and laugh with them, or shrug it off because you believed in what you did. But most of all, because you believe in you. If you do this, you will be rewarded with a level of pride that others will envy. And become the type of person liars fear the most. 

If one thing is certain, human beings cannot learn without experience. What I mean by that is, we can talk until we are blue in the face, but unless that person experiences it themselves, true learning can never be achieved. That’s why this lesson is meaningless, unless you begin to tell the truth. Start by revealing something embarrassing, and reclaim your inner power.